|
the way i am |
On one rainy day, my hardcore friends told me that I don't behave like a girl. I am not feminine enough. My attitude and behaviour is like a guy. I watch soccer with them. I drink a lot with them. I swear like hell. They said that if I go on like that, no other guys will like me. Well, should I blame them or shouldn't I blame them?
First, I must explain that my hardcore group of friends consist of around 10 to 15 guys. If they bring their gfs out, it will be another 2 or 3 girls maybe? They are hardcore because they go to the clubs that I love, they drink a lot which I like, they smoke which I like, they are easy-going which I like, they go rave which I love the most, they listen to progressive and hardstyle trance which I like, they do evil things which I like, etc. So, they are my hardcore gang. No matter when, where, who and what happen, they will always be there!
Second, my 'softcore' group of friends are mostly female. They prefer to go RnB clubs which is not really my favourite. I don't mind going there once in awhile, but not all the time. These friends are more guai.... But I still love to mix with them because I do need some girlie talks sometimes. I like to go shopping with them, I like to gossip with them, I like talking about guys with them, I like having lunch and dinner with them, I like going to Uni with them, I like talking cock and shit with them, I like having a few drinks with them in a not-so-hardcore-way in the club, etc. Then again, no matter when, where, who and what happen, they will always be there!
I wanna have the best of both worlds! ^_^ So, let's go back to the topic of me being not so feminine. I think because I spend most of my time with my hardcore friends, I tend to talk like them and sometimes I do things like them. They hit me really hard when our favourite soccer team score a goal. They smack my arm really hard when they are too excited talking about stuff. They called me "bro" without them realizing it. They swear at me when I give them shit, I swear at them when they give me shit. I am their wing woman. I eat as much as them. I smoke as much as them. I look at girls together with them~~~~~~ Fuck!!!!!!!!! Now I feel like I am a guy!
Well, like they said before if there are guys who like me and in the end think that I am not feminine enough, the guys decided not to be with me. Then I don't see a point of getting together coz no one is perfect in this world. And I do not like people who are too judgmental. For me, if you are a nice person, helpful, easy-going and I can get along well, I don't give a fuck what you are doing and who you are, you will be my friend. =)
I told my friends that there are guys out there who will accept the way I am and they will love me for who I am. So, if I forced myself to change to a person they like, it would be a fake Sophia. We will be walking on our separate ways in the end. In conclusion, I love the way I am.
sOphia.G
|
|
|
Thursday, April 03, 2008 
3:26:00 PM 
