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worthless |
I didn't know that when you give in so much, do so many things for someone, in the end... that someone will just turn his/her back on you and never appreciate what you have done so far. It happened to me once from my bitch friend. And now... the one closest to me is doing the same fucking thing to me!
Everyday I have to wake up at around 7am or 8am preparing to go for classes or to work, after work or classes, I have to rush back home to do my homework and also to prepare for dinner. After that, I need to continue with my homework. I am feeling so tired everyday that I am exhausted!!! But I still make the effort to cook for Darrel every night becoz he has been eating instant noodle every afternoon. I feel sad seeing all these and everyday I would love to prepare something nice for him to eat. No matter how tired and how sick am I, I still make the effort to do all these things for him!
Little did I know that he could scold me this afternoon because he doesn't have enough ice for his coffee!! He said that I never make ice, then I told him that I have been sick for days and I didn't drink any coffee or coke these days. Then he asked me "Are you trying to say that I am the one who didn't make ice, and I should blame myself??" Oh well, he is the one who drinks coffee and coke everyday. These days I have been drinking ribena, green tea that I bought from my cafe. I even took out all the bottles and showed them to him. Then he has nothing to say and ran to his room.
I told him that is it so hard for him to make ice for himself?? Since he is so free at home. I have to work, I have to cook, I have to study, I have to clean the house. Sunddenly I feel like he is the most useless and worthless person in this world!! Then he said I am complaining to him, he said he never ask me to cook or do something... So, asked me not to complain. I told him, because I love him so much, I know that he prefers to eat home cooked food and he has been eating instant noodle every afternoon... So, every night I wanna cook something for him. I am not complaining anything to him, I just want him to know that I have done so many things for him, I just want him to appreciate what I have done!!
Sometimes I think my life is so fucked up. God played a BIG JOKE on my life. Those whom I love so much, they disappoint me over and over again! Those whom love me so much, I never lay my eyes on them. Now I am regret!! Fucking regret that I made the wrong decision two years ago!! People always tell me that once the decision is make, don't turn back and feel regret. But I can't. Every time when I have problems with Darrel, I often think back about what I have done and I was so silly and stupid two years ago. I should have chose someone instead of staying with Darrel.
I feel that the distance between me and Darrel is getting further and further... We are no longer that loving, we do our own things everyday, we are in our own room everyday, he hardly hug me or kiss me... I wonder how long can I take this shit?
Made your decision wisely... or else, you will fucked up the rest of your life! Like me!!!
sOphia.G
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fucking busy |
Hello people... I guess everyone is busy with their uni's work huh? Hehehe... Two more weeks to go, and everyone will be studying for their final exams!! I can't wait for next Monday, coz I have been working extra hours at the cafe for two weeks. Last week I was supposed to work for 8 hours, but Jiun gave me his 6 hours shift coz he was tired. Then this week he is giving me his 10 hours shift!! Woo hoo!!! By next Monday, I will be getting around $510 for two weeks of work (30 hours). I am so happy coz this is the first time I am getting more than $500 pay. How I wish every week will be the same... but it's soooo impossible!!
Actually I am very busy these days, but I just changed my rims and tyres, I want that amount of money back!!! Hahahaha... Jiun said I am so hardworking. Sigh~~~ I want to spend more time on my assignments and studies too... But I think that money is more tempting to me!!! That's why I decided to take all his shifts!!! Muahaha... Actually I don't wanna work on Thursday coz it's been a long time I never dress up to uni. I always go to my class with my cafe's uniform!! damn it! I hate it!!! Nevermind lah!!! =]
Everyone... all the best in your assignments and final exams ok?? Muaks muaks!!!
sOphia.G
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my car's new shoes! |
 Yesterday I went to Bob Jane and changed my wheels and tyres for my car!! I paid around $800 (RM2400!!!!!) for that new "shoes"!!!! =_=|| At first I saw two sets of rims which I love so much and I think they will suit my car well... The worst thing was they were running out of stock and I needed to change my rims and tyres desperately!!! So, left one more set on rims... So I can't be bothered much and changed to this rims.
Actually I was feeling a bit heartache to spend so much money on my car as I'd rather spend the money on clothes or new shoes for myself!!! Anyway, I still think the moolah is worth spent lah!! Coz I paid for wheel alignment too... After I have changed this rims and tyres, my car is smoother to drive, now I feel like I am flying whenever I am driving my car! Hahaha... I guess wheel alignment is very important. They said that my wheel alighnment has became worse... That's why I decided to do the wheel alignment for the car!!
Then you guys know that my car was super low last time, I couldn't even fit a coke can below! The legal height for a car here is to be able to fit a coke can underneath the car! Guess what??? Now I can fit a coke can underneath!! Woot!! Which means I do not have to spend money to put my car higher!!! Muahahah... After all, I am satisfied with the rims and tyres!! =)
 This is the pics that I took two years ago, that time my car's tyres and rims were so ugly. They looked like spare tyres!!! My friends had been complaining about my car saying that the rims so ugly!! But I didn't want to spend money on them that's why I couldn't be bothered much that time. In the end, I have got a flat tyre this year that required me to change my rims and tyres!! Fated to spend money!!!
sOphia.G
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super broke!!! fuck!!! |
I just came back from the tyres and wheels shop... Damn it!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck!!!!! I need to pay around $800 to change all my car's wheels and tyres, including wheel alignment and safety nuts!!! CCB!!! I am so pissed off right now, why all this things have to happen to me??!!! I guess it's not a good thing having a car here! I don't even dare to tell my father!! Sigh.. I was thinking of servicing my car which will cost around $150, and also wanna put my car higher which will cost around $200. Sianz loh!! I took out the money from my fixed deposit account!!!
Actually I told myself that the money at the fixed deposit account cannot be touched until next, I guess now because of my stupid car I have to take out the money!!! The worst thing is Darrel hasn't even fix his car, dunno wat the fuck is he doing!!! Then now my car has became the most important in our lives. Coz if my car break down, we must rely on public transport which both of us don't know how to use. This is a very bad, bad thing!!!
Ever since Darrel came back here, I overslept almost everyday!!! Urrgghh... today I missed my class and sometimes I was late for my work!! I better end this as soon as possible. Coz most of the time I have to sleep early at around 1am and he is still doing his computer stuff until 4am... I woke up almost every hour... sigh~~~ will see how it goes!!I can't wait to see the new rims on my car! Muahaha... better look nice!!
sOphia.G
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busy + tired + sleepy |
 Last week was a hectic week for me, I barely had enough time to sleep. The worst thing was, I fall sick during the weekend and ended up I had to stay at home during the weekends. My room was in a mess last week, I hardly even had the space to walk around. My clothes, books, papers and items were all over my room.  I have spent one whole day cleaning my room and the house today!!! Walla!!! More space for me to move around! Hehehe... Something really bad happened to me this morning when I was on my way to the uni. My car had a flat tyre this morning, I had to stop beside Kwinana Freeway to wait for the RAC tow truck. The worst thing was, I left my spare tyre at home, and my car was too low for the tow truck to tow!!! Damn it!! In the end, another RAC guy came and helped to tow my car!!!
Then now I have to go hunt for tyres and rims for my cars as they said my rims are not meant to fit my car!!! I am lucky enough to be alive coz I have been driving with that rims for 3 years (since the last time Isaac changed my rims!!! Stupid guy!!). Anyway, I am going to be super broke coz I need to pay around $500 to $800 to change one set of tyres and rims for my car!!! Sob!!! I am so sad!! There goes my money, my LV, my shopping!!!!
sOphia.G
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bad bad mood |
This morning I woke up with crazy and really bad mood, I think I am a crazy woman!! I released my anger on Lexx, felt so bad when I was driving to the uni. I was shouting at him when he blocked my way, then hit him twice!! Damn! I still feel guilty now!! Well, I guess I should just forget about it and make sure that I don't bully him that way again. Dogs tend to forget things easily, they are not like humans!! How I wish I can forgive and forget. But I know I can't, never will.
Then my first workshop was canceled this morning, made me even more angry!! I had a feeling that I really wanna kill someone right away, then the way I drove to uni and back home was crazy!!! But after awhile, I kept asking myself to cool down and relax a bit. Maybe because last night I didn't get enough sleep coz I went to bed at around 12.30am and Darrel said he couldn't sleep. So, he kept walking in and out of the room, unpacking his luggage and my sleep was disturbed by all this stupid things!!
Met up with Windi and Jindi, then realized that they both quarreled because of car and who has won more toys at Perth Royal Show. Nbz!! Feel like fucking give them both a slap and wake them up! I mean, they are sisters!! Twins leh!! Then they are calling each other bitch, and fuck here and there... sigh!! Windi told me that this has been going on for a few days and she doesn't think that they will never be in good term. Oh well, even if I did quarrel with my sisters and brothers back in Malaysia, but in less than one hour, we were in good term. I really don't understand who can hate their brothers and sisters so deeply.
Anyway, my mood has turned from bad to good by the time I finished all my classes!! Phew... Then I saw Kee Chi and Vernon at the carpark, Vernon said that he likes my car and he thinks that the body kit is very nice. But... the rims are ungly!! Hahaha.. Aijor, no money to change mah!! That's why all wheels look like spare tyres!!
Kee Chi said that after the Godskitchen event, he felt a bit weird and he had been having three days of "farkedupness"! Hahaha...I agree with him actually, coz I did have the "farkedupness" feelings for a few days!!! The side effect of getting old and partying too much I reckon!! Must retire earlier from the clubbing scenes!!! Hehehe...
sOphia.G
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post godskitchen 2006 |
 Last night I went to Godskitchen and it was kinda surprised that this year's crowd was lesser than last year. The queue was not as long as last year's!! But I reached there at around 11.30p.m. then went back home at 6a.m. Woo hoo!! But I can see from Evon's face that she was sleepy and tired and she really wanna go back home earlier... Aw~~~ Really sorry!!! I promise no next time ok? Hehehe... I reckon last night only Eddie Halliwell and Cosmic Gate spinned the best songs!!! The rest were boring!!! While Eddie Halliwell was spinning, his act was interupted by the fire alarm. At first we thought that he was putting some special effects for us to make us feel excited, until the bouncer asked all of us to leave. Then there was this fire engine in front of Metro, there were police too!!!  Everyone was waiting outside of Metro, coz all of us wanted to go in and party longer!!! After 20 mins, the fire fighters said that it was alright to go in, maybe someone accidentally trigger the fire alarm. So, all of us went in and party again!! Thank God!! Me... sucking my lollipop!! I think last night I sucked three lollipops, ate all my Soother sweets... And I want more!! More!!! I think I spent around $200 on drinks last night, been drinking too much I know! But I just wanna have fun and get wasted since I wasn't feeling happy yesterday. I really feel like killing myself, really!!! Hitomi, Evon and me @ Godskitchen!! I really pity them that they had to stay till that long for me. Thanks a bunch babes!! I am sure next time you guys don't dare to club with me again. Coz I forgot to tell you guys that I am a very hardcore clubber, I don't go back home early until I have enough fun!!! Really sorry about last night!! But I am glad that you guys went last night, but I am not sure whether it was a good experience or bad experience for both of you!! Anyway, smile and enjoy!!!
sOphia.G
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Saturday, October 21, 2006 
4:21:00 PM 
