Today is the second day without having Darrel beside me. I have managed to clean up my room, folded all my clothes, put Darrel's clothes to his wardrobe, changed the bed sheet, and finally... I have even cleaned the kitchen stove. When was the last time I clean it?? Maybe it was last year... Why am I doing so many things now??? It's a sign of procrastinating! Hehehe... Every time when I want to start studying, I will try to do a lot of houseworks before that until I don't have anything to do. Then... I will go ahead with my studies.
I have played with Lexx just now, he seems so bored and lonely. So, I went to the garden and played with him running around. I am so tired now! Thinking about going to that Pupi Management class tomorrow... I already sianz half liao. Should I skip the class or not?? Hmmm... Aaaarghhh... heck it. I will just treat it like an exercise for myself!! Since I hardly exercise at home.
Last night I had a weird dream... really weird!!! I dreamed that I was in a house with my bf, and my bf turned out to be an ang moh!!! O_o;; Then he had his exgf came over to our house then we were chit-chatting. Apparently, his exgf was asking him for a patch up, and he started to treat her good, slowly touching her face and gently stroking her hair. And his exgf looks ugly and fat. He'd rather choose her than me!!! Then my so-called ang moh bf brought me to a cafe and he said he will seriously consider about our relationship. He said he might want to think for a few days to make up his mind. Then I said to him, "Fuck it. You can take your own sweet time to be with that bitch! I am out of your life, asshole." So, I walked out. Then there was this guy whom I couldn't really see his face. He accompanied me to the beach and held my hands. It was kinda romatic. He even brought along my fave Merlot red wine.
Maybe I am too stress or something. Is this dream a sign to something?? Or is this dream going to tell me that "even your bf is not an ang moh, but beware!!! His exgf might want to ask for a patch up??!!!" Hmmm... Nah, I don't want to think too much. I know in this kind of critical situation without him by my side, if I think further, I will make myself think too much and be extremely depress. Especially when I think of the past. So, I must try to keep a clear mind.
Last night, I slept with the lights on! I am so useless!!! I woke up at 9a.m to switch off the light. I was a bit scared last night until I couldn't really sleep. Maybe after a few more days I will be able to sleep with the lights off. Even when I went outside to feed Lexx, I have to switch on all the lights at the kitchen, the living room and the dining area. Hahahaha... I am so scared of the dark!!!
Damn it!!! Faster come back!!!!
Friday, August 04, 2006 
3:05:00 PM 
sOphia.G
