I fucking need a Miracle!! Especially in my studies!! When I was studying my first Mass Communication degree... I do not need anything in life... I didn't even study too hard or try my very best... But now, I need to!! Coz Accounting course is horrible, terrible and stupid!! By now, I have already knew that I have failed my Finance and Banking. Now I have to sit for two more which is Company Law and Accounting. I am so happy to know that I have scored 27.4% for my internal mark, which means I have to score only 23% out of 60% for my final!! pheww... Anyway, the bad news is... I have to score 35/50 for that stupid Company Law final! Fuck!! Not again??!!!
Another credit to pass the unit which is very tough. Kevin has been saying that I won't pass that unit as most of the people failed that unit at least once. Unless, you are fucking smart, or you are fucking hardworking! I remember that Gareth is repeating that unit too. Woah... if he is doing the unit for the second time. I guess I will be doing the unit the second time too!! NO!!!!!!!! I will prove to them that I DO NOT need to repeat that unit! It's just like when they said I will fail my Commercial Law but i didn't.
It's really ironic to know that some people can just study a few times, have fun most of the time... but they still pass all their units. This I seriously don't understand. I still remember when I asked Wee how was she doing for her Finanace and Banking, and she said, "Well, I have studied 2 times now, and I guess I am ready for tomorrow's exams." What The Fuck??!!! Studied two times and she is prepared for the exams? I couldn't believe it!! I have studied more than 10 times for that unit and still... I am going to fail! This is just so unfair!!! UNFAIR!!!!
Another thing that is bugging me nowadays is when Darrel told me that he might be taking over his father's business, that he has to go to Vietnam most of the time. Sigh~~ Fuck, I am going to end up like his mum. For those who do not know about the story behind his family, I don't wish to explain it here. Although I do want Darrel to be successful, it's always better to have your own business than working for others. But But But... what about me? Don't tell me that start from next year he is going to spend 40% of his time in Vietnam, 30% of his time in Australia and 30% of his time in Singapore.
So what's the point of having a bf who will only spend 30% of times in a year for you? No point right? I do not wish to have a bf/husband who will not be by my side when I am scared, when I am alone, when I am sad, when I need someone to just hold me for the day... I do not need a husband who will just leave the wife and children at home. Although some of you might be thinking that I am being selfish for saying all these shits. A man needs to sacrifice a lot of things to become successful. But, what about family? If he doesn't spend more time at home with the family, the family is incomplete. I do not wish to send the children to school myself, do my own grocery, shop for my own thing... It's like becoming a fucking widow!
Anyway, I just hope and pray that he manages to find a job here and can settle down here and work here! Sometimes I am wondering... Did I make the wrong choice in life? Will I be regret? Why do all this things have to happen to me? Why can't I have a smooth path in life? Oh well, there are always challenges in life. I have no challenge and no difficulties in life for the first 20 years of my life. Then now, it seems like God want to test me on life. Since it's from YOU, I will happily accept it. Actually from the beginning of the year, I thought that my life has already stable and I have nothing to worry about, I am wrong!! I am so fucking wrong.
Fuck Life!
Wednesday, June 14, 2006 
10:48:00 PM 
sOphia.G
